I'm pants shitting drunk right now
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize