Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I am puke
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
