well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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