He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You pole danced in your parka.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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