oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
