Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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