my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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