i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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