taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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