she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
