Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
