just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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