That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
