My hair reeks of homosexuality.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
