if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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