it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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