Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I love having hate sex.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I still have a little drunk in my system
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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