D3 body, D1 cock
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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