i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
