Nicole vs. Life
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
