Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
