I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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