I swear she didn't look like that last week.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
