I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
