"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
