literally had 100 drinks last night.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
