wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
