id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
