Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
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