my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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