His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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