And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
