Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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