singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My balls are so social today.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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