they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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