you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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