I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
