you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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