i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
