Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
