did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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