We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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