i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Ketchup is God's man juice
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
