i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize