Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
