my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
