nut hugger
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize