Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
