who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
