She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
