Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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