It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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