i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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