scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
