hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
