Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
