god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize