i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
