she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Oh god it's open bar.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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