omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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