Joe is yelling at the trees again.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
