Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
