I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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