Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
we're so committed to being not committed
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize