my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
